Adventures in Asia

When you fall in love with someone from a different country, you soon realize that other cultures have different ways of showing romantic interest and love. Their flirting can feel strange or even be a turn off at first, but the deeper you dive into another’s culture, the more you acclimate to and appreciate it. A random Asian guy, courtesy of the public domain. The first thing that struck me when I was dating my now-husband (as I’ve mentioned previously on this blog), was the NAGGING. Or what I perceived to be nagging. Such as: Have you eaten yet? Did you take a nap? Wear more clothes, it’s cold out. Drink more hot water. Don’t drink that! Cold drinks are bad for your health! Go to bed earlier. Exercise more. No ice cream when you’re on your period!! And on and on… As you might notice, most of these statements are related to Chinese standards of health and wellness. I had a quite negative reaction to this form of attention, because 1)...

When I started dating a Chinese guy, and then got serious with that guy, some friends and family back home asked, usually in a hushed tone, “But how do you communicate ?” What does that mean, "someone who speaks your language"? With my dismal Chinese and his intermediate English, it was a legitimate question. The first few times we hung out, my now-husband kept a dictionary app open on his phone (despite having studied English in school for many years… but the effectiveness of language education is a different topic). We recently discussed the issue of the language barrier with some of our friends who are also in cross-cultural relationships. Some of the other couples are like us, where one partner uses their native language which is the other’s second (or third or fourth or fifth) language. This gives one person a natural advantage in communication. For some of the other couples, neither partner can speak the other’s first language, so they u...

Exciting news!! I got married!! In two countries! It was crazy! Ahhhhh! I would like to share some of my experience and advice after pulling off weddings in China and America. If you’re getting serious with someone from outside your culture, or if you’re just curious, I hope this post is satisfying! My main advice for those who are probably going to do this in real life is… Repeatedly discuss these two very important questions with your significant other: 1. What are the normal engagement and wedding customs in your culture/family? 2. What engagement and wedding customs do you personally like and want to do? I wish that my husband and I had discussed BOTH of these questions more frequently and earlier on in the wedding process. We did get married, so it all worked out, but there might have been fewer surprises / awkward situations / frustrations if we had communicated more. (I feel like that sentence sums up intercultural relationship...