Adventures in Asia

When I started dating a Chinese guy, and then got serious with that guy, some friends and family back home asked, usually in a hushed tone, “But how do you communicate ?” What does that mean, "someone who speaks your language"? With my dismal Chinese and his intermediate English, it was a legitimate question. The first few times we hung out, my now-husband kept a dictionary app open on his phone (despite having studied English in school for many years… but the effectiveness of language education is a different topic). We recently discussed the issue of the language barrier with some of our friends who are also in cross-cultural relationships. Some of the other couples are like us, where one partner uses their native language which is the other’s second (or third or fourth or fifth) language. This gives one person a natural advantage in communication. For some of the other couples, neither partner can speak the other’s first language, so they u...

I married my happy, hardworking, handsome husband 10 months ago, and I didn’t take his last name. Naturally, many people back home asked, “WHY?” My marriage certificate is a little red book! There are two main reasons: paperwork nightmare and my husband’s Chinese culture. Here's what a normal American woman does to legally change her name: provide her marriage certificate at the bank, change her social security card, and update her drivers license, all in person. But I live in China. So I would need to go to the nearest American consulate (2 hours away by train) to renew my passport (which costs $120 US). I would then have to make another trip to pick up my new passport (train tickets totaling to another $120 US). Then I would have to fly home ($1,000 US round trip – if I’m blessed with a good deal) to complete all of the things normal women do… Only hiccup being my marriage certificate is in Chinese. Like, the only English word on that entire document is my ...

Exciting news!! I got married!! In two countries! It was crazy! Ahhhhh! I would like to share some of my experience and advice after pulling off weddings in China and America. If you’re getting serious with someone from outside your culture, or if you’re just curious, I hope this post is satisfying! My main advice for those who are probably going to do this in real life is… Repeatedly discuss these two very important questions with your significant other: 1. What are the normal engagement and wedding customs in your culture/family? 2. What engagement and wedding customs do you personally like and want to do? I wish that my husband and I had discussed BOTH of these questions more frequently and earlier on in the wedding process. We did get married, so it all worked out, but there might have been fewer surprises / awkward situations / frustrations if we had communicated more. (I feel like that sentence sums up intercultural relationship...