Adventures in Asia

As I walk down the street, heads turn. A woman coming out of a shop does a double take. A group of older men, resting in the shade, openly stare – and keep staring. A student riding a bicycle is so distracted he nearly causes an accident. A mother nudges her kindergartener, saying, “Look, a foreigner! Practice your English. Say ‘Hello!’” The child looks up at me, entranced, silent. “‘Helloooooooo!’” coaxes Mom unsuccessfully. A man waiting for the bus casually lifts his phone – I know he’s taking a photo. Strangers come up to me and offer teaching or modeling jobs. Sometimes someone is gutsy enough to ask to take a photo with me, instead of just sneakily doing it. Whispers of “So tall!” and “So white!” echo as I make my way through the mall or to a table in a restaurant. It’s just a normal day as a foreigner in China. And I am not exaggerating. There are certain places where it’s heightened, such as tourist spots crowded with people from all over the c...

When I started dating a Chinese guy, and then got serious with that guy, some friends and family back home asked, usually in a hushed tone, “But how do you communicate ?” What does that mean, "someone who speaks your language"? With my dismal Chinese and his intermediate English, it was a legitimate question. The first few times we hung out, my now-husband kept a dictionary app open on his phone (despite having studied English in school for many years… but the effectiveness of language education is a different topic). We recently discussed the issue of the language barrier with some of our friends who are also in cross-cultural relationships. Some of the other couples are like us, where one partner uses their native language which is the other’s second (or third or fourth or fifth) language. This gives one person a natural advantage in communication. For some of the other couples, neither partner can speak the other’s first language, so they u...