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Showing posts from June, 2017

Speak Chinese?? [Ask a Cross-Cultural Couple]

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对不起,我中文不好。什么意思? Duìbùqǐ , w ǒ z hōngwén b ù hǎo . Sh é nme y ì si? Sorry, my Chinese is bad. What do you mean? I’ve been living in China for over 3.5 years and my husband is Chinese. It’s only natural that curious friends and strangers ask: “Do you speak Chinese?” 中国梦 The Chinese Dream This really isn’t a fair question, as grammatically I should answer yes or no, though the complex process of learning a language is not so clear-cut. What people usually mean is, “Can you speak Chinese fluently?” so I usually answer with, “No.” Many people believe immersion is the best method for learning a language, and I do agree that living in China provides motivation for me to acquire simple sentences. From buying food and clothes to traveling and getting around on public transportation, I need and am able to use some basic Chinese. However, I can easily maintain my career and social life completely in English, so immersion motivation is limited in my context. (Side

Moving Home?? [Ask a Cross-Cultural Couple]

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“So, when are you moving back home?” I get this question fairly frequently, and people ask my parents a lot! I think the motivation behind it is mostly innocent curiosity, so I’d like to share a bit here about my life in China and how this particular inquiry comes across.   Shanghai Skyline with Slight Smog   “When are you moving back home?” reflects an American approval of the gap-year (living abroad for a year, usually between high school and college), but a strong, strange feeling towards long-term life abroad. When I (or my parents) answer with a brief comment about me living in China for a long time, it’s usually followed by, “I could never do it! That would be so hard!” Sure, long-term living abroad is hard. Especially the first year, though the experience is largely determined by the amount of local language you know going in and what kind of community you’re going into. For me, I’m approaching 4 years in China and I’ve built up the support systems I need to

Planning a Chinese/American Wedding

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Exciting news!! I got married!! In two countries! It was crazy! Ahhhhh! I would like to share some of my experience and advice after pulling off weddings in China and America. If you’re getting serious with someone from outside your culture, or if you’re just curious, I hope this post is satisfying! My main advice for those who are probably going to do this in real life is… Repeatedly discuss these two very important questions with your significant other: 1. What are the normal engagement and wedding customs in your culture/family? 2. What engagement and wedding customs do you personally like and want to do? I wish that my husband and I had discussed BOTH of these questions more frequently and earlier on in the wedding process. We did get married, so it all worked out, but there might have been fewer surprises / awkward situations / frustrations if we had communicated more. (I feel like that sentence sums up intercultural relationship