How to Acclimate to America Again

Vacation is here! School’s out for summer, school’s out forever! Woohoo! A few weeks of no class means I’m States-side for the first time in nine months. The following is a list of things I keep having to remind myself now that I’m home in midwest America and not in northern China.

1. Strangers are going to talk to you. A lot. And it’s going to feel weird, because (a) they can speak fluent English (what the heck?), and (b) it’s a lot of small talk that you aren’t used to. In Asia, conversation at the checkout or with a waiter is brief. In America, strangers are friendly and will talk to you more. And you’ll probably accidentally end up telling them you just returned from China. (How does that even happen?)

2. Public restrooms will have western toilets (not squatty potties), furnished with tp and soap. You no longer have to keep your bag stocked with tissue and hand sanitizer. Isn’t it great?

3. Clean up after yourself at Starbucks, McDonalds, Panera, Moe’s, and all those restaurants where you order at a counter. This is not China. They will not happily clear your table after you leave your trash all over it. They will hate you, jerk.

4. The entirety of the internet is at your disposal. You can now open wechat and facebook simultaneously. Read all the world news. Amazing, isn’t it?

5. You’re going to see a lot fewer Asians around, and the Asians you do see quite probably will be American Asians who do not want to reminisce about Asia with you and will not appreciate you practicing your Mandarin on them. But they are probably willing to have some friendly small talk.

6. The plethora of white people that you do see are not fellow foreigners to network with. They are strangers who do not have a common experience with you. But they are probably willing to have some friendly small talk (…not that you would ever initiate talking to people you don’t know).

7. You’re going to see fewer people in general and a lot more wide-open spaces. Walmart will feel so empty! What is this giant parking lot? Look at all the space between the cars on the road! Where is everyone?

8. Be careful what you eat. My first night back I had friend chicken, cheesy fries and a huge milkshake. The next day I had a large dish of pasta, buttery alfredo and garlic bread. The next day I had cheesy nachos and a cheesy, seasoned quesadilla. All this food sounds wonderful, but transitioning from a diet of rice and veggies… Delicious has consequences.

9. You don’t have to bargain when shopping! Yay, less stress and honest price tags! … You can’t bargain when shopping. You have to pay the full asking amount. Which sucks. Also, do yourself a favor and do not convert dollars to RMB in your head. China is cheaper and you will never buy anything you need in America once you realize how expensive it is comparatively.

10. Look at the sky. Look at it often. Enjoy those cloudy afternoons, colorful sunsets, nights full of stars. This is what the sky looks like without smog, remember?

11. Most importantly, take advantage of every second you have with family and friends. Give them their souvenir gifts, show off some pictures, and get an update on life in the good ol’ USA. You don’t get to see these beautiful people very often.